Simple Ceremony Ideas for a Burial at Sea

A handful of simple, meaningful gestures for a ceremony at sea, from petals and letters to a moment of silence, and what should never be released into the water.

A ceremony at sea does not need a program. The water, the wind, and the people aboard carry most of it. But a few small gestures, planned ahead, give everyone something to do with their hands and their hearts at the moment it matters.

Gestures That Work Well

• A handful of petals for each guest. Pass around a basket of loose biodegradable petals before the release, and let each person let theirs go when they are ready. Our guide to flowers on the water covers what to choose.
• A letter read aloud, then kept. One person reads a letter to the one who has died. Afterward it goes home with the family rather than into the sea.
• A moment of silence. Thirty seconds of nothing but wind and water can say more than any reading. Ask one person to mark the start and the end.
• A song. Something they loved, played through the Bluetooth speakers on deck. Download it in advance, since cell signal offshore is unreliable.
• A shared toast. Many families raise a glass to the person they are saying goodbye to. Talk with the captain beforehand about whether alcohol is appropriate aboard.
• Eight bells. After the release, the captain rings eight bells and circles the scattering point. Many families let the bells be the last word.

What Not to Release

The federal rule for burial at sea, 40 C.F.R. § 229.1, allows flowers and wreaths to be placed in the water only if they consist of materials that are readily decomposable in the marine environment. That rules out a number of things families sometimes consider:

• Balloons, which drift for miles and end up in the water and on beaches.
• Glass, including bottles with notes inside.
• Plastic, including wrapping, ribbon, and artificial flowers.
• Wire, floral foam, and the frames inside many arrangements.

Whatever does not break down stays in the ocean for a long time, and it is the same ocean you are giving your person to. Strip florals down to stems and petals before you come aboard.

Keeping It Simple

Choose two or three gestures, not all of them. Decide who will do what before the day, and tell the captain the order you have in mind. If remarks are part of it, our guide to preparing remarks can help.

The simplest ceremonies are often the ones families remember most clearly. There is time for each part to land.

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