Writing an Obituary That Mentions a Burial at Sea

Wording examples for an obituary that mentions a burial at sea, whether to announce the date, memorial gift lines, and whether to include the coordinates.

An obituary does two jobs at once. It tells the story of a life, and it tells people where that life now rests. When the resting place is the open Pacific, families sometimes hesitate over the wording. There is no single correct form. A few plain sentences usually say it best.

Simple Ways to Say It

The sentence about burial can sit near the end, after the story of the life. A few examples families can adapt:

• "Her ashes were scattered at sea off Point Loma, in the waters she loved."
• "In keeping with his wishes, his ashes were returned to the Pacific in a private family ceremony."
• "A burial at sea will take place off San Diego, attended by her family."
• "He was a sailor all his life, and he has gone back to the sea."

Choose the wording that sounds like your family. If your person never used the word "ashes," you may prefer "was laid to rest at sea."

Whether to Announce the Date

A private ceremony is entirely appropriate, and many families keep the date to themselves. A vessel has limited room, and announcing the time can invite people who cannot be accommodated aboard. If you would like the wider circle to take part, you might announce a gathering ashore instead, or write "A private burial at sea will be followed by a celebration of life; details to come." Our guide to gathering ashore after the ceremony has ideas.

Memorial Gift Lines

If you would like to suggest a gift in memory, a single line is enough: "In lieu of flowers, the family suggests a gift to [organization]." Ocean, sailing, veterans' or hospice organizations are common choices when they reflect the person's life. Some families simply ask friends to spend an hour by the water in his or her memory.

Coordinates or Not

After the ceremony, the family receives a record of the GPS coordinates of the release point. Whether to print them is a personal choice. Some families include them so that distant friends can find the spot on a map. Others prefer to keep them within the family and share them privately. If you are writing the obituary before the ceremony, you can add the coordinates later in an online memorial page. Our post on what to do with the coordinates explores this further.

Write it slowly, read it aloud once, and let someone you trust look it over. The right words tend to arrive when they are given room.

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