Giving Children a Role in a Burial at Sea Ceremony

Children often cope better when they have something to do. A small, clear job gives them a place in the ceremony and something to remember later. This guide is about those jobs. For how to explain the day beforehand, see how to talk to children about a burial at sea.

Jobs for Younger Children

• Keeper of the petals. Give a child a small basket of loose, biodegradable petals to hold until it is time to let them go.
• A picture to keep. Ask them to draw the person, the boat, or the sea. The drawing stays with the family as a keepsake.
• The bell ashore. A small hand bell rung on the dock before boarding or after returning can open or close the day. The captain rings eight bells at sea; a child's bell ashore can echo it.

Jobs for Older Children and Teens

• Reading a line. A single line of a poem, a verse, or a sentence they wrote. Keep it short, and give a grown-up a copy in case they would rather not when the moment comes.
• Choosing a song. Let them pick a song that reminds them of the person, and download it before you leave. Cell signal offshore is unreliable.
• Running the music. A teen can connect a phone to the speakers on deck and start the song at the right moment.
• Handing out flowers. Passing a flower to each guest is a quiet, useful job.

Let the Job Be Optional

Offer the role, then let the child change their mind. A child who decides to simply hold a grown-up's hand has still taken part. Avoid assigning a job that depends on a child holding back tears; that is too much to ask.

Safety on Deck

• Pair each young child with one named adult for the whole trip.
• Ask the crew where the life jackets are kept, and ask when you call about life jackets sized for children.
• Closed-toe, rubber-soled shoes help small feet on a moving deck.
• Children stay with their adult at the rail during the release.

For flowers that are safe for the water, see flowers for a burial at sea. Children remember what they did with their hands. Giving them one small task is often enough.

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